Let’s talk about success – what it truly means to us and how we can define it to better reflect our true selves and values.
Our world measures success on external achievements, like what job you have, what relationship you’re in, how much money you have, or what experiences you have under your belt.
But success is so much more than what we accomplish.
Real success is living in authentic alignment with our deepest values, passions, and beliefs. It might even be about personal growth that only you are able to see. It might be about fulfilling relationships, freedom, emotional wellbeing, fulfillment, balance, or contribution.
Success might look like:
- Pursuing a career that you’re passionate about despite the option of a more traditional path
- Pursuing hobbies or interests that challenge you to step outside your comfort zone
- Deciding not to have children despite expectations that you “should”
- Developing friendships that feel reliable, supportive, and nurturing
- Practicing self-care on a regular basis
- Finally feeling free from overthinking, anxiety, and worry
To redefine success is to be RADICAL, brave, curious, free, and open-minded.
So let’s try to uncover what success really means to us.
Define Your Own Metrics
Challenge societal norms and define success on your terms. So often, we are told what we should do, what we should value, how we should act, and what we should want. Ask yourself, if no one would ever judge me, what would I prioritize? How would I want my life to look? What makes me feel passionate, alive, and joyful? What legacy do I want to be behind?
Shift Focus From Outcome to Process
Success isn’t just about the end result; it’s about the journey. If we’re waiting to feel successful once we’ve achieved something, we will miss out on what’s here right now; what we’ve already accomplished and grown. Embrace the learning and experiences along the way.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Acknowledge and celebrate your small wins. Success doesn’t have to look like getting one big thing (e.g., the house, the partner, the job). It can be about living in alignment with our values, even if we don’t have those things we want (or maybe just are expected to want). Every step forward is a testament to your resilience and determination.
So here’s to celebrating:
- Friendship anniversaries
- Solo travel adventures
- Pet adoptions
- New hobbies
- Breakups that were good for you
I’m right there with you!
Clare Karasik, MSW, RSW 