Being truly happy in this world isn’t easy. Happiness is something we cultivate, and when we have it we might feel inspired, content, and purposeful. So how do we feel happy in this complex and difficult world?
Happiness is likely in stark contrast to the daily grind and monotony that we can cycle through. All too often, we can feel purposeless, bored, or have existential thoughts about what the point of repeating a similar day over and over again. Hoping that this rat race will provide happiness in the future.
Sound familiar?
If this is something you’re struggling with, know you’re not alone. Here’s how we shift ourselves and cultivate happiness.
First, know that happiness exists at the intersection of pleasure and meaning. A life of only pleasure might feel good, but it might leave us feeling purposeless. Similarly, a meaningful life devoid of pleasure might cause us to feel exhausted and heavy.
So ask yourself:
- What brings me joy? True lighthearted fun and play. If you’re not sure, this is your invitation to experiment. Try stepping outside your comfort zone to find out what lights you up.
- What feels meaningful in life? Maybe providing stability for your family, making others feel good, contributing to knowledge and learning, etc.
- Do I have a good balance between pleasure and meaning? If not, where do I need to tip the scales? And what would that look like?
Second, realize that happiness happens when we enjoy the present while working toward future goals.
According to Tal Ben Shahar, “Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.”
Third, know that hard feelings are normal even in a happy life. Feeling sad, lonely, anxious, bored, etc. are all normal even if we’re overall happy.
Fourth, practice gratitude. I know you’ve heard this before, but making a real point to verbally express as well as personally reflect on what you’re grateful for helps us feel happy. So often, we focus on what’s wrong or what’s missing. Give yourself permission to really savour what’s already here.
Fifth, cultivate meaningful relationships. Happiness exists both in relationship with ourselves and in relationship with others. Tend to the relationships that are important to you and try to lean into moments of connection with others.
Happiness isn’t something that spontaneously arrives, it’s something we intentionally cultivate. If you’re in Ontario and trying to cultivate happiness, schedule a free intro call with me.
Clare Karasik, MSW, RSW 