Anxious About Feeling Anxious?

It can be such a frustrating cycle we can get looped into.

“I’m scared I’ll feel anxious forever.”

“What if I never get this anxiety under control?”

“What if I can’t handle this feeling?”

“If I start feeling anxious, I’ll screw everything up.”

“People will think I’m weird or crazy if they see I’m anxious.”

I recently started playing Pickleball, and I often worry about “getting in my head”, which will make me play worse. And sadly it inevitably does! Like aself-fulfilling prophecy, when I worry about feeling anxious, I’m already anxious!

What does anxiety about anxiety look like? Here are a few expressions of it:

Rumination: Constantly thinking about your anxious thoughts and fearing their return. Or even worrying you’ll feel anxious forever.

Avoidance: Avoiding situations or experiences that trigger anxiety.

Physical Symptoms: Experiencing physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, or nausea in anticipation of anxious thoughts.

Why does this happen? Here are a few reasons:

Fear of Losing Control: Anxiety can make us feel like we’re losing control over our lives, and the idea of being overwhelmed by it only amplifies this fear.

Anticipation of Negative Outcomes: We may imagine worst-case scenarios, assuming that feeling anxious will inevitably lead to something terrible happening.

Stigma and Judgment: Society sometimes stigmatizes anxiety, leading us to feel ashamed or judged for being anxious.

Discomfort of Anxiety: Anxiety and panic can be super unpleasant. Sometimes we fear the discomfort of anxiety itself.

So, what can we do about this?

Know that you’re capable even when you’re anxious. You’re capable of being yourself, accepted, skilled, and everything else. Anxiety doesn’t equal bad outcome. Think of times you had a positive experience even with anxiety present.

Remember no feeling lasts forever. There are always ebbs and flows with anxiety. Think about your own experience. Sometimes anxiety is there and other times it’s less intense.  There’s always change.  Everything is impermanent.

Accept that you will eventually find your way back to the driver’s seat, pushing anxiety to the passenger’s side. Remember times when you’ve lived without anxiety or times you’ve overcome feelings of anxiety.

One more thing…

You’re not alone.  This somewhat hilarious, moderately frustrating experience is shared by so many others.  As you read this, inhale, exhale, relax your shoulders, soften your face, and know you’re so much more than your anxiety.  You can thrive in your life, believe in it!